


What They Gave Me

by princessdi



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Brothers Germany & Prussia (Hetalia), Character Study, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Germany-Centric (Hetalia), Historical Hetalia, Historical References, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Mentioned England (Hetalia), Mentioned France (Hetalia), Minor Hungary/Prussia (Hetalia), Parenthood, Relationship Study, Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24534262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessdi/pseuds/princessdi
Summary: Growing up, Ludwig's three most important relationships were with Erzsébet, Roderich, and Gilbert. Each provided them with their own lessons and quirks that went on to shape him. This explores their strange family dynamic and what he gained from each.
Relationships: Austria & Germany (Hetalia), Germany & Prussia (Hetalia), Germay & Hungary (Hetalia)
Kudos: 36





	1. Erzsébet

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be including the approximate physical age of Ludwig at the beginning of each chapter, as that helps to know how he's behaving and to notice the changes in his personality. I couldn't find a way that didn't break immersion to include these in the story, so this is the compromise. Ludwig age: ~8-9

_Vienna, 1865._

Whenever Erzsébet was around Ludwig, she would give him her full attention. She would listen to him prattle on about his latest adventures, laugh at his failed attempts at humor, answer the questions he was too embarrassed to ask Gilbert. He always found it so easy to be with her. There was no judgement, no crushing expectations, just acceptance.

During one stay in Vienna – those blessed trips that occurred often so Prussia could work uninterrupted – Germany was completely under her care. Austria had to rush out of town for business, leaving Hungary with total control. It was the first visit that felt so fully like a vacation. No longwinded lectures on the nature of empire or how a proper gentleman behaves or to stop tracking mud into the house.

Instead, Ludwig got to spend his days peaceably, curled up against Erzsébet and reading over her shoulder. While doing exactly that, a strange man walked into the room. He was gorgeous, an easy smile on his face and adorned with the latest fashions. He was talking before he even entered the room, his hands a flurry as he spoke. All the air left Ludwig’s lungs.

“Feli! What are you doing here?” Erzsébet jumped up, embracing him. “Oh, you look fantastic! I haven’t seen you this glowing in years! Have you eaten recently? It’s been such a long trip.” As if by habit, she tucked loose strands of hair behind his ears.

“I don’t think I’ve felt this good in my whole life. Is this what it’s like to be strong?” Feliciano licked his lips at the mention of food. Ludwig averted his eyes from the Italian’s mouth to the floor, a strange feeling filling him. “I wasn’t before, but now that you mention it, Erzsi, I wouldn’t mind having a little something.” Only now did he notice Ludwig, sitting stiffly on the couch. Feliciano made his way over to him and kissed him on both cheeks. “I’ve never seen you before! I’m Feliciano but call me Feli. Oh, are you alright? Why is he frozen?”

“That’s Ludwig. He’s Germany. Remember, they don’t do that where he’s from.” Erzsébet fought hard to suppress her giggles. “Don’t break my other kid or you’ll get me in trouble.”

“Wait, isn’t he Prussia’s then? How can he be your kid when you and Austria-” She had never seen Italy’s eyes so wide. “Never mind! I had some stuff of yours still left at my house and I wanted to bring it back.”

“So, it’s a short visit? Fine, let’s bring it inside.” Once in the hall, Ludwig overheard a muffled smack. “Don’t be so obtuse! You know what I meant!”

Only once they were out the room could Ludwig function somewhat normally again. He blinked slow, processing all that had happened. “I’m Germany,” he croaked out, his voice hoarse.

He was in his thoughts for the rest of the day. Those eyes, that smile, Ludwig couldn’t get them out his head. His stomach wouldn’t stop flipping and his hands shook whenever he moved Feliciano out of the periphery of his mind. He sighed, melancholy seeping in.

“What’s wrong, Ludwig? You’ve been moping around for hours now.” Erzsébet appeared, materializing a bar of chocolate in her hands. “Here. Something to maybe help cheer you up.”

He gratefully took it, picking small pieces off and letting them melt in his mouth. “Is he…always like that?”

“Hm? Oh, Feli. He’s never been the brightest. Poor boy, always getting kicked around by everyone and probably dropped on his head a lot as a young child. Your brain never quite recovers from that.” She noticed the way he was staring at her. “Is that not what you meant?”

“What I meant is if he’s always so…personal. If he always lacks such a sense of personal space.”

“You still haven’t gotten over that?” Her voice was teasing. “Actually, if I’m being honest, he’s usually much touchier. You’re lucky you met him today. He must’ve had his mind elsewhere.”

Silently, Ludwig grappled with the new information he was presented with. How much touchier could he be? What else was there to feel? His subconscious filled in the blanks, betraying him, and his cheeks turned a deep scarlet.

All while this melodrama was playing out in Ludwig’s head, Erzsébet watched him with mild curiosity. She had never seen him so flustered, so shocked by everything. Normally, it took much more to generate such a reaction from him and it usually derived from interactions with strangers. “What’s the matter, _kicsim_? You should be relieved, not behaving like this.” Suddenly, the reason for how he was acting dawned on her. She clicked her tongue, shaking her head. “Ah, so that it’s. He’s caught your eye, hasn’t he?”

She felt Ludwig stiffen besides her. “N-No! He’s just very personable, that’s all!” He began fidgeting with his hands, focusing intently on them. “How could anyone fail to notice him? Doesn’t he have that quality to him that makes everyone notice him when he walks into a room? The confidence, the charisma, the grace. It was out of admiration that he caught my eye, nothing like what you’re implying!” He was rambling on as he always did when his nerves took over. It took all his control to clamp his mouth shut, realizing he sounded like a fool.

Erzsébet watched him out the corner of her eye. When he finished, she smiled and shut her eyes briefly. The situation called for tact. By no means did she wish to cause the poor boy more anxiety, but she did want to help him however she could. “I don’t mean to be implying anything. Though, if I _were_ , I certainly wouldn’t judge you. My little Feli is quite the charmer. He’s always known how to enchant anyone he meets.” She touched a hand to her chest, maternal pride swelling her heart. “There would be nothing wrong with being intrigued by him or any man, so don’t get any of those horrible ideas in your head. Maybe it’s not right for humans – though, I doubt that’s the case either – but we go by different rules.”

This caught Ludwig’s attention. His eyes sparkled with curiosity. Clearly, these were things Gilbert had neglected to mention. She chuckled, unsurprised. She doubted they were things Gilbert ever considered with his soldier’s way of thinking. She was brought back to reality by Ludwig’s voice. “What do you mean? How are we any different? I thought we had to blend in.”

Another belief clearly fostered by Gilbert. And why should she be surprised? That is who Ludwig spent most of his time with. Still, she didn’t appreciate being left with the significant task of fixing what he had mishandled. But that was a frustration for a later time and it wouldn’t be right for her to air those frustrations to Ludwig. “We do to a certain extent, but our people sense who we are. We can bring a lot of comfort to them, especially those of you born so directly from the efforts of your people.” She looked him squarely in the eyes, trying to convey the importance of her words. “As long as there’s that connection, they will never spurn you for who you are, since you _are_ them and all their hopes and dreams.” She smiled, feeling the air grow weighty with her words. “But what good does that do you now? No, _kicsim_ , we are different, and we’re allowed to break whatever rules the mortals put on themselves. In fact, Uncle Roderich was married to a man before me.”

“He was?” Ludwig’s heart began beating faster. No longer was it from worries, but from elation. He could once again hold Erzsébet’s gaze. “So, he would understand?” He was feeling uncharacteristically happy and carefree, completely unconcerned by the fact that he was giving too much away.

All she knew of Roderich’s tastes came flooding to mind. The whispers of how he arranged marriages for the Habsburgs, his sudden disappearances to foreign cities, the too charged air with other powers bar Gilbert and Ivan. Who was she to judge? He did with many partners what she did with one. It had always been like that. But, again, these were things not for her to tell. She smiled, ever the secret keeper of the family, the one who always found out. “He would more than understand, but he’s reluctant to talk about it. You know how he is.” She felt bad for offering breadcrumbs that led to a locked door, but she had to consider her own sanity. She lived with Roderich; Ludwig did not.

Ludwig nodded in understanding. Even if she hadn’t warned him against it, it’s unlike he would have attempted to talk to Roderich. Speaking to him about affairs of the heart was something neither felt comfortable with, nor was it something they were any good at. But knowing that he wasn’t alone, that someone in the family could understand how he felt, that was good enough for him. Relief rushed through him and he rested his head back in its place against Erzsébet’s arm. “Thank you, Erzsi.”

She smiled down at him, the same maternal pride she felt for Feliciano now being directed at Ludwig. “You never have to thank me for loving you.” She kissed the top of his head. “You know I’m always here for you, no matter the circumstances. And no matter what you do or say to me, that will never change. You’ll always be my _kicsim_.” She glanced at the grandfather clock and rubbed his back. “It’s getting far too late for you to be up. Run along to bed. We can talk about this more in the morning if you want.”

Ever the obedient boy, Ludwig rose and began to leave. Halfway out the door, he turned back around. The warm embrace of acceptance filled him with such joy, it was plain to see on his face. He grinned, making Erzsébet wish to affectionately squish his cheeks and tell him how cute he was. “ _Ich liebe dich_ , Erzsi.” His voice carried such sincerity, it warmed her heart in turn.

“Yes, yes, _ich liebe dich auch_. Now, quit stalling and get to bed.” She smiled, watching him disappear. She wished to keep him forever frozen in this moment, not wanting him to grow up like Feli had and leave the nest with it. But she knew loving him required letting him spread his wings and she only hoped that, when the day came, he wouldn’t fly into a storm that brought them all spinning down.


	2. Roderich

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ludwig age: ~8

_Vienna, 1854._

Ludwig loved watching his _Onkel_ Roderich sit at the piano. He was a maestro, the music he created evoking strong feelings in all who listened. Ludwig once heard from one of the states under Roderich’s control that this is when he seemed most peaceful, this is when he seemed almost human, and Ludwig found himself agreeing. It was as though, through the piano, his uncle conveyed all the emotions he kept secret from the world. It was when Ludwig was permitted to spend idle time with him, where he could ask anything and receive the truths that were always so hard to find in other times.

Now was one such moment. Ludwig sat on one of the sofa’s in the music room, watching. He had entered with a book and all intentions of reading but had become distracted by the airy sounds of Albrechtsberger filling the air. They were too expertly crafted to be ignored and demanded his full attention. Once finished, Ludwig politely clapped, earning him a small smile from Roderich.

“Is my playing distracting you from your studies? I could take a rest; my fingers are beginning to lag behind on the tempo.” Roderich smiled as if he was sharing a joke between them. But the meaning of it was lost on Ludwig. He rose from the bench, stretching. “What is it you’re reading? It’s been awhile since I asked you.”

Ludwig held up the book, offering it for inspection. “Kant.” At Roderich’s displeased expression, he quickly lowered it. Shame began rising in him, the emotion that always filled him when he failed to please. “I take it you’re not a fan.”

“What gave it away?” Much to Ludwig’s surprise, Roderich _laughed_ , clear and weightless. It was always so strange seeing his uncle in high spirits, away from the stressors of the outside world. “No, you could say I’m not one. I find his moralizing quite grating and exactly what I’d expect from any Prussian fixated on as tedious a thing as duty.” Ludwig sensed a jab at Gilbert in there somewhere but couldn’t understand why. Roderich smiled, exempting the blond from the same judgement. “Ah, but he has his influence. It’s natural you would be curious. As long as you don’t begin preaching Kant’s beliefs to all, where is the harm in exploring such frivolities? Anyways, allow me to cut to the heart of why you’re here. What brings you in?”

Ludwig had no idea how to respond to that. His silence caused Roderich to sigh, returning to his piano bench. “Well, it’s rarely you come just to listen. There must be something on your mind, something beyond hearing my gripes with philosophers as substitute for your…Gilbert.”

In truth, he hadn’t come to ask for anything. Ludwig simply wanted to spend time with Roderich in a way both could enjoy it. But it did raise a question he’d long had to mind. “Why do you never call Gilbert my brother? You always hesitate like that.”

Roderich shot him an indecipherable look. He seemed to be considering his words carefully but came up empty. “I assure you, I have my reasons. Unfortunately, there are some questions you can’t know the answers to and that is one of them.” The inches of his mouth turned up into a smirk. “You’re intelligent enough, I don’t believe it would be hard for you to divine the answer. How can I be your uncle and not his? There’s something we all must be hiding from you there. Dare to question what the authorities tell you, Ludwig. Blind obedience makes men fools and charlatans kings.”

Youthful defiance flashed across Ludwig’s face. Still, he would try to be polite, despite the insult to his sense of self. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t listen to you three because it’s what I should do, but because I know what you’re telling me is right.”

That tickled Roderich, considering the origins of his supposed nephew. He opened his mouth, readying himself to speak. Could he really trust them? How could he trust that Roderich and Gilbert always had his best interests at heart, that they always acted for his betterment? It wouldn’t hurt to open Ludwig’s eyes to reality a bit. He closed his mouth, deciding against it. What would hurt is upsetting him and having Ludwig question everything to the point of no longer associating with any of them. Instead, he smiled warmly. “If that’s what you believe, then I’m honored. But remember to watch where you step to ensure we’re not leading you off a cliff.” And, he wished to add, to decide which of his family’s competing interests he sided with more to prevent being split apart at the seams.

All this confused Ludwig, shown by his furrowed eyebrows and downturned mouth. It seemed as if Roderich spoke in riddles more often now, especially when the conversation turned to topics such as these. It was infuriating and left him wondering if Gilbert and Erzsébet received the same treatment. “You can be honest with me. I can handle it.” His voice sounded so young.

“I am being honest.” Roderich chuckled and swiveled around, facing his instrument. He began tapping out the beginnings of a few different pieces but found it difficult. The weight of Ludwig’s stare hindered his concentration. Sighing, he gave in. “What? Would you prefer I spoon-fed you everything? If I did that, then I wouldn’t be able to reveal so much to you.”

“I would prefer to be told nothing if this is the only way you know how to communicate!” Ludwig clamped his mouth shut, realizing what he’d done. He hadn’t meant to yell, but it had been too hard to stop himself. He hung his head in shame, waiting for the reprimand he’d earned.

Instead, Roderich had started laughing. The yell sounded like a lion cub attempting its first roar. Hardly a fearsome sound. And, most importantly for Ludwig, he had been enjoying himself too much to feel any genuine outrage. “Temper just like Gilbert’s, Lord help us all.” He shook his head, still bemused by what just occurred. “Well, you’ve certainly made your feelings known. From this day forward, I promise you I will cease teasing you in such a way. Though, please, do know I’m simply trying to help you. Someday you’ll have to make your own decisions, without all of us, and I want to help you without obstructing future paths.”

Relieved to not be in trouble, Ludwig would accept anything Roderich would say now. Despite being off the hook, the lingering frustrations nagged at him. There was more he wanted to know, more that was bothering him that he couldn’t simply let go of. “I know you want to help me, but why like this? You’re still not answering my question. Gilbert is always honest with me, why can’t you be like him?”

A flash of irritation filled Roderich. His finger tapped a low-G, having the key serve as a valve for his emotions. “Must I be asked _that_ damn question _so_ unceasingly?” Ludwig immediately felt guilty for his phrasing. His eyes cast downwards. He heard a sigh and dared to look up again. The flash had past, though Roderich was now staring at him with a look akin to pity. “My apologies, adult annoyances. Someday you’ll understand, though I sincerely hope you won’t.” A half-hearted chuckle escaped him. “Ah, you really think Gilbert is the honest one among us? Hmm, I don’t wish to get myself in trouble with him. For once, his charge of hypocrisy would be well-aimed, even I must admit.”

“ _Onkel_! You’re still rambling!”

Roderich flicked the complaint away with his wrist, doing so with the precision of a conductor. “I’m an old man, Ludwig, have some pity. I have plenty to think about, making it difficult to sift through it all in seconds.” He smiled, the most genuine of all his that day. “I assure you, I _am_ being honest with you. You’re too intelligent for any of us to simply spoon-feed you information, treating you no better than a toddler. Perhaps Gilbert doesn’t, but _I_ certainly want you to think for yourself, to question things, and decipher the truth from all that is said. If I were to simply unfold everything for you, well, you’d do exactly as I say is best. The older you get, the more I realize how capable you are and that any pretenses Gilbert or I had for deciding your future were incredibly foolish.” Roderich pursed his lips, feigning aggravation. “I’ve also had the misfortune of liking you. It’s not as fun to play politics with the life of someone you love. That I leave now to the Metternich’s and Bismarck’s of the world, though my newfound softness is disappointing.”

Ludwig sighed. He supposed that would be the best answer he could receive, despite it hardly clearing up anything for him. He filed away the statements that were particularly interesting to him, for now the desire to move on was greater than the desire to pull the threads apart and unfurl what exactly all this meant. He smiled, his blue eyes gleaming with youthful curiosity. “What are you going to play for me now?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry to say. My next piece will be an ode to solitude.” Seeing the crestfallen expression on his so-called nephew’s face, Roderich quickly shifted gears. “After dinner, I would be thrilled to perform for you a little concert to make up for this disappointment. But, for now, I feel most certain that Erzsébet would appreciate some time with you.”

Rolling his eyes, Ludwig hopped off the couch. As he meandered to the door, he grumbled, “But she sent me here in the first place!”

That caught Roderich’s attention. “Did she really? And she was the one most excited to have a child back in the house.” It was more an aside to himself than meant as a comment of any importance.

That didn’t stop it from being overheard, especially with it being spoken as clear as day. “What do you mean?”

Realizing his mistake, Roderich waved him away. “That doesn’t concern you, Ludwig. It’s impolite to eavesdrop.” Even with his back turned away, Ludwig could imagine the stern look on his face.

By the time Ludwig was out the door, a melancholy melody could be heard. He stood with his ear against it, wondering why such a depressing sound came from Roderich’s heart. The urge to barge in and begin pestering him with more questions was suppressed, knowing that there would be no answers supplied and that he would be swiftly ushered away. Ludwig trudged away, casting one last glance towards to the door and wondering about the secrets Roderich kept so close behind it.


	3. Gilbert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ludwig age: approximately early teens, 13-14.

_Berlin, 1869._

Watching Gilbert work always caused Ludwig’s anxiety to spike. Gilbert operated on manic energy, as if all too aware of how limited time there was in a day, a month, a year. He would rush around, barking orders at inferiors, honeying up ministers, and decrying them all as bastards once they left the room. Papers would be thrown about, maps shuffled around without care, and ink wells spilled on their sides. Ludwig had recently learnt about the tornadoes that roared through parts of the United States and decided they symbolized Gilbert perfectly.

While tucked away in his corner of the office, Ludwig was busy trying to write out the correspondence he’d recently been entrusted to keep. It was a task he took very somberly, despite it being only on the most insignificant of matters, as it was his first foray into leadership. The way Gilbert was pacing throughout the room, muttering to himself, made it impossible to focus. The vein behind his left eye throbbed. “Why do you have to work like this? There’s a more efficient way of doing things than behaving like a madman!”

Prussia continued his pacing, not bothering to avert his gaze from the letter in his hands. Germany assumed it was from France with how Prussia was beginning to crush the corners of it up. “I’m an important man, Ludwig. People are waiting to know how high I want them to jump. The faster I move, the faster the rest of the machine goes and the further ahead we are of everyone else.” His voice had no malice or frustrations, purely a self-satisfaction that bordered on smugness. He had been enjoying his place at the center of European politics and was becoming loathe to give it up, Britain and France be damned.

It was also the answer he always gave, one that never failed to illicit an eyeroll from Ludwig. He gripped his pen tight in his hand, knuckles turning white. With all his might, he attempted to focus in on his task. It was a valiant effort, but no good. The muttering had turned into full on talking as Gilbert dictated what his response would be. “Gilbert, for the love of God!” Realizing that his yelling had no effect, he sighed. “At the very least, could I get my own office? We have the extra rooms.”

At last, Gilbert bothered to pay the boy attention. He stopped in the middle of the room. “What good would your own office do you? Someday you may take my place. If you weren’t here to learn from the very best, then how will you know what to do?” He shrugged, ready to make a concession if it got them off this ridiculous subject. “I’ll sit down though, but I won’t stop talking to myself! That helps the writing process too much.”

“If this is the best, I’d rather you send me to Vienna. I bet it’s much more productive there.” It was a low blow, Ludwig knew, but he was frustrated. For the moment, he didn’t care what hurt feelings that may create.

“That bastard can’t even win a war, now you want to learn trade secrets from him! What, how to have a failing empire in thirty years? Or what about how to sleep your way to the Spanish succession, that one’s my personal favorite!” Gilbert was gesticulating wildly, knocking over another inkwell in his fervor. “What’s there to learn? The guy doesn’t even do his own work anymore! All he does is delegate to his underlings what to do and only taking an interest in who the Habsburgs get to inbreed with next! A true fucking _genius_ of statecraft!” A moment of clarity broke through. He had been baited, successfully, by the kid. His eyes turned to slits as he glared at Ludwig. “Who taught you to be such a smartass?”

Ludwig held up his little glass of water for a mock toast. His face shone with faux admiration. “I learnt from the best.” At his brother’s aggrieved expression, he laughed, enjoying his wit too much.

“When Arthur told me not to have kids, I should’ve listened,” Gilbert grumbled to himself. He always had to go against the advice of others only to have it eventually blow up in his face somehow. Then again, seeing the kid enjoy himself so much did warm his heart, even if it was at his expense. He smiled, lightening up. “Alright, that’s enough. We both should get back to work.”

For a longtime, they did. Ludwig found it much easier to focus now. Despite Gilbert’s mutterings, not having him circle the room like a predator stalking invisible prey made it all much more tolerable. There was no sensory overload, only the scribbling of pen on paper and the satisfaction at contributing _something_ to the state being developed in his name. It made him feel capable, that he was no longer a child, but a man with experiences and wisdom to offer his people. He flushed with embarrassment, knowing he was exaggerating the importance of his current job too much. All he did was write responses Gilbert and Bismarck had outlined for him, they were hardly his own thoughts. Nothing more than a glorified secretary and, yet, he still enjoyed it as it served as a prelude to _more_.

When the sky was turning golden, Gilbert rose from his desk, stiff-jointed. Stretching, he smiled down at Ludwig. “What do you say we call it for today? The weekends almost here and we won’t have much left for tomorrow if we keep at it.”

Ludwig suppressed an eyeroll at the mentioning of the weekend. He’d known what those entailed ever since he was a young boy – some contrived way of Gilbert spending time with Erzsébet – and that he would be schlepped along with them. Either that, or there would be some convenient excuse for him to be out of the house for a few hours, causing him to dare not to consider what the real reason for his banishment from the home was. These visits had only increased with Erzsébet now being granted permission to travel to Berlin, something Ludwig wasn’t supposed to be aware of, but that he had eavesdropped on one night. That was becoming how Ludwig now got a lot of his information from Gilbert and Erzsébet, by listening behind cracked doors and open windows.

These were things Ludwig didn’t want to bring up to Gilbert, knowing neither would wish to broach these topics. Regardless, he was happy for work to be over and for their nightly routine to begin. He followed Ludwig as they made their way to the fully stocked bar in their home. It had been a recent addition, one that Gilbert was most proud of, and where they spent their evenings. Gilbert usually received visitors there or read while Ludwig curled up with a book and his small pint of beer.

Ludwig had been doing good work and had been feeling emboldened. While he had received his secretary role only within the last few months, he knew he’d been doing good work. Even Bismarck had praised him, a rare gift of acknowledgement by the prime minister. It only seemed fair that his competence be rewarded, especially when everything being done was for him, for _Germany_. “I want a promotion.” He heard the trepidation in his voice and hated it, already convinced that this would fail from one small misstep.

Gilbert’s reaction didn’t assuage his fears. He looked chagrinned. Ludwig thought he saw a wariness in his brother’s eyes but couldn’t place _why_. “And I want Elsass Lothringen. It’s good to have goals, gives you something to work for.” He didn’t bother to glance up from his newspaper as he spoke, hoping that by ignoring the ensuring argument it would fade away. This was not a conversation that needed to happen now.

Ludwig considered this lack of acknowledgement to be a misunderstanding. He cleared his throat, mustering up all his courage. “I want a promotion.” This time his voice was clear, determined. His will couldn’t be ignored now.

Weary, Gilbert lowered his newspaper. He moved slowly, trying to give himself more time to put his words together. “You’ve only recent gained any position, what’s the rush for? Shouldn’t you gain mastery of this one before getting something more complex? We have all the time in the world, there’s no need to be so ready to stand on your own.”

“Well Bismarck said that I-”

“The hell are you listening to Bismarck for! What does he know? He’s not responsible for you!” _That’s_ where all this came from. He made a mental note to have a word with the prime minister about staying out of his family affairs, even if they crossed with those of the state. “You don’t need to be speaking along with him. He’s a meddler, that’s all he does! Mess around with everyone’s business. There’s no reason for you to be listening to him! He’s got his own agenda!”

Ludwig scoffed. “And you don’t?”

That set off alarms in Gilbert. He decided more tact would be required. He sighed, frustrated to be put in this position. “My only agenda is to do what’s best for you. That’s been my agenda for your whole life, to care for you and see you grow to be strong. I like Bismarck – there’s no denying he does one hell of a job! – but can you say the same for him? He’s a politician and one who’s trying to mold your development to fit his plans! If I were you, I’d be cautious around him.” He smiled warmly, trying to disarm any doubt in his charge. “I’m sure some of what he says is useful, but you can’t take it all at face value. Don’t be too trusting.”

Skepticism painted Ludwig’s face. He was too intelligent to be won over so easily. “I trust his vision and his vision is that I take a more active role. Why are you so against that? Why should I believe your word over his when he’s been more helpful as of late?”

“Because I’m family, Ludwig. When have I ever led you astray?” He paused, waiting for a response. Met with silence, he smiled. “Exactly! I understand that all this can be frustrating, and your eagerness is completely understandable. The world isn’t ready for you yet and you’re not yet ready for the world. What kind of-” he paused, wanting to say ‘father’ but knowing he had to substitute. “What kind of _brother_ would I be if I sent you out to the wolves unprepared? France and Britain would make a meal out of your naivety and never doubt Roderich to attempt some treachery behind your back. Learning is a process and I want you to have all the steps mastered before I hand over the reins. What Brandenburg did for me, I do for you.”

His words had appeared to make headway. Ludwig seemed much more conciliatory, accepting the logic behind what was said. He cast his eyes down at the hardwood floor. “You’re right. I’m sorry to have doubted you.” He looked up, eyes glistening with determination. There was an easy smile on his face. “I’ve grown up hearing stories of all you’ve done, I can’t help but want to prove myself to you. I’ve always wanted to make you proud.”

Gilbert’s expression softened. Something in his heart loosened. He forced down whatever tears the kid – no, considering him a child felt wrong after that burst of emotion – whatever tears the _young man_ had tried to set free. A sad smile emerged on his lips. “You already have, more than you could know. But, for now, let me keep saving you from the world.”

Ludwig felt there was more behind that, more that was left hidden from him behind those last words. The conflict was playing out clear as day behind Gilbert’s eyes, but this was a nice moment. A rare moment of sentimentality between the two, one that he didn’t want to ruin, not yet. He nodded his head, agreeing to whatever it was Gilbert’s protection required.

Suddenly, Gilbert rose. He appeared to quickly wipe at his face before breaking into his normal cheery persona. “How about this? No promotion, but you get that office. Right across the hall from mine so you can run in with any questions. A little bit of independence won’t kill me off yet, right?”

Ludwig was lost at that last remark, not understanding its context. But why did it matter? The excitement of getting his own space to work, where there would be no annoying habits except his own was a blessing. He jumped up, gratefully hugging his brother. “Thank you, if I had to share that office with you any longer, I would be moved to homicide.”

“How sweet of you.” Gilbert rolled his eyes, gently pushing the boy off. He looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought for a moment. When he returned to earth, he gave Ludwig the same sad smile as before. “You finish up in here. I’m sorry to call it early, but I realized there’s a few things I need to finish up, messages I have to send out. All the unexciting things you push off till the last minute. The room’s yours until dinner.” He began heading out the door, halfway out before his attention was grabbed.

“Hey, Gilbert.” Ludwig called back. Cautiousness was clear on his face, obvious that he didn’t buy the lame excuse he was offered. “You can tell me the truth. What are you running off to do?”

Gilbert closed his eyes and shook his head. “There are some things that are better kept as secrets, Lud. Trust me.” He opened his eyes, staring dead on at Ludwig. “Trust me on this, please? There are some questions you don’t need the answers to.”

He left quickly after that, leaving Ludwig alone to wonder what, exactly, those could be.


End file.
